Single Mess

My roommate sent this to me and she had found it on one of her friend's blogs so I wanted to post it because it's totally how I feel! We love you married people and are happy for you, but quit bugging us about marriage! :)

Common Misconceptions About Us Singles
(mostly the Mormon kind)

By Taren and Julianna (Check her out. Cause she's my roommate and she's awesome. And single.) Oh, and the many conversations had with Katelin (Hi Katelin!) concerning the topic of our single mess have been the source of much inspiration... just thought I should throw that out there... um, okay.

1. When we say we're fine -- we're doing great, it's all a clever ruse. In fact, we don't keep knives or other abnormally sharp objects around the house because by the time we get home after a long day we're just so gosh darn lonely and down in the dumps that the temptation to end it all is JUST TOO GREAT!

2. We define ourselves by our relationship status. Quite the contrary. You define us by our relationship status.

3. If we could just become the right person, then we could find the right person. Let's kick that theory in the butt right now, shall we?

4. That anyone with half a brain thinks or acts anything like those DB's over at Mormon Bachelor Pad, or the losers they "date".

5. That we are incapable of progressing past a 17-year old level of spiritually and/or responsibility. Adult supervision is necessary at all times. Even ward activities would take a turn for the worse, and mass pandemonium would ensue if the old marrieds weren't around to mold our feeble young minds. How can a single person possibly be expected to calculate the correct amount of rice krispy treats needed to feed 30 equally troubled youth? In all seriousness, it's like I've been attending an never-ending EFY session... for the past 7 years, and this time there is no guarantee that I will ever be able to get the hell out.

6. That we worry. Without constants reassurance and wise advice from 22 year-old newlyweds we would surely be lost in the valley of the shadow of death, unable to perform our day-to-day activities, always thinking in the back of our minds "WHEN? WHEN?! WORRY!!!" But here's the thing married people of the world: you're still not sure about a lot of things in your life, but you know that everything will work out. That things will work out according to God's timetable. Single people have this same assurance. Genius!

7. We're just so darn sexually frustrated. Grrrrrrr. At any moment we might A@#$@#$!!!!!L;KSJDFAOIEJNFDJ%&%*ADPIUPEWNVPOQWPOI##$##AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

8. I'm approaching 25 and I still enjoy such activities as miniature golf. Bowling. Nicklecade. Laser tag. Classic Skating. Scavenger hunts. Mafia. Disney Scene It? WHEN WILL IT END? I don't know of any married person who enjoys scavenger hunts. Why does my lack of husband make me any different?

9. Both of the single people you know will of course be perfect together, based on their singleness alone. If nothing else, at least they can bond over their love of miniature golfing and their lack of sextivities. As single as your bald and greasy, 36 year-old Dungeon and Dragon's playing co-worker may be, I just don't think he's the right guy for me.

10. That we don't want to get married. If leaders and concerned citizens didn't constantly remind me that I should be married, the thought would leave me and I'd sit alone in my apartment all day, surrounded by empty twinky boxes and Cosmopolitan magazines, glorying in the eternal singlenss of it all and lack of obligations. As much as I do love a good Twinky...

11. That we must be turning down opportunities right and left. That we turn up our nose to every potential suitor. That we don't "try" hard enough. Believe me, I could get married tomorrow if all I wanted was to be married. The bottom line is I don't want to marry just anyone. I want it to happen for me the same way it happened for you. Should I have to "try" to fall in the love with someone because I'm 24 and my biological clock is ticking? The only reason you're married is because you met the person you wanted to marry. It's a simple as that, really. Wouldn't you agree that it might be possible for someone to make it all the way to the rip old age of 27 without that opportunity ever presenting itself? Well? Do you?!


The biggest misconception of them all:

All hope was lost until the Ensign brought me this picture of anxiously engaged young adults from various ethnic backgrounds, who prior to posing for this picture weere, no doubt, singing hymns at the local nursing home.

Nothing brings hope like knowing you are counted among the likes of such exemplary individuals.

The End.

(Clever title? Eh? Anyone?... It's like singleness, only singlemess. Bahahahaha. I kill myself.)

New Puppy!

My mom is a grandma again...well, with puppies. She says she's destined to be only a grandmother to puppies because all her kids are slacking on the marriage and baby thing. She is a little brown and black chihuahua named Roxie. She is four months old; the family has only had her for a little over a week, and already she is a spoiled little princess. She gets kinda skiddish around new people but feed her some yummy food and she will be your best friend. One of her favorite things to do is burrow under the blankets and take naps. We had a pitbull puppy visiting with one of Ryan's friends this weekend and she DID NOT like her at all. Towards the end of the weekend, they kind of got along; but she would yip and bite at the other puppy. I think mainly she was just scared of her. Every time the pitbull would come running down the stairs, she'd run towards me or mom to save her. I'm already in love with her and am ready to take her home. Though the allergies and asthma haven't fared so well this weekend...

Spring Has Finally Sprung!

I have been waiting forever for the snow to melt and get warm. I feel like this winter has been so long. I spent the weekend with the fam in STG for conference and my spring break and when I left, it was snowing. It's not as warm as I would like it to be down here right now, but it's tons better than snow. When UVU was on there spring break, I spent some time with my friend Sydney and we went and flew kites! I can't remember the last time I flew kites and it was so much fun. I think the last time I flew kites was sometime when I was in high school. There are a couple of pictures of us flying our kites. I got a princess kite :) It makes me happy. Sometimes, it's just fun to revert back to being a kid. I don't do that very often because I teach kids for my career. Below are some pictures of me and my kite-flying experiences. I actually did get it stuck in the tree once and had a time getting it out. But I got it out without me ripping it! SUCCESS! We spent some time playing on the swings as well. I used to spend a lot of time a park called Vernon Worthen Park when I lived in STG. I would go there during my breaks from work and when I needed to think I would go sit on the swings. I think I need to start doing that again...

me on the swings!
Sydney and me on the swings

my kite stuck in the tree :(

me and buddy the dog

Let the Madness Begin!

Can my life become any more busy? Yes it can, I've decided. I have less than a month until I start grad school! Woot woot! Yes, you heard correctly. I am starting grad school, a MA in Mental Health Counseling, in the middle of January at the University of Phoenix. Along with attending one night a week for four hours, I will continue to teach full time plus some, (I say that because I average 50+ hours a week) tutoring struggling students part time at a learning center in Riverton, and all the wonderful grading I have to do. I am actually quite excited to begin school again. I've always loved going to school, but hated the massive amounts of work, but by the time I turn 29, I will have my Masters! How many people can say that? On the downside though, let's just say not much time to be social or date. Oh well. :) I am on the downclimb of the school year which means TESTING! I have to prep the kids for numerous standardized tests, so now my stress level will reach an all time high. I'm waiting for things to just get back to normal, but what exactly is normal?

I recently moved back to Orem and currently share an apartment with two fun-loving girls. It is a much better living situation than my last residence and now I actually enjoy coming home; whereas, before, I would dread going to a place I didn't really consider home. As for the social life, I think everyone and their dog is trying to set me up. Not too stoked on the idea because I don't particularly enjoy socializing with people I don't know very well. I tend to be on the shy side at first. But here's the best part: they're trying to set me up with balding, nerdy, younger guys. Heaven help me. I just smile and say, I'll think about it" and then never mention it again.

One of my good friends Chelci and her friend Nykell came up about a week and a half ago and we all went to PF Changs and to temple square in SLC to see the lights. Here are some pictures from our little escapades.

Chelci, Nykell, and me in front of
tree at JSM building.

Yup, I took this picture. :)

At the top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building

Nykell and I waiting for Clint
and Chelci to meet us.

Candid shot in front of the tree at the JSM building

As the Year Comes to a Close....

It's hard for me to believe that once again another year has flown by. The last six to seven months have been some of the most difficult of my life. My life has changed dramatically as most of you know but yet it still seems to keep going when sometimes all I want is for the world to stop for just a moment. I express gratitude to all those who have supported me and my family and have spent countless hours praying for the welfare of our family. I feel as though I have become a completely different person because of the trials I have endured this past year. My priorities have shifted and have taken on a whole new level. My mom gave each of us kids plus Lori (Jeremy's girlfriend) a Thankful Book so to speak on Thanksgiving. I have misplaced it, somewhere in my room, but in each of our books, she wrote why she was grateful for us. I decided that I was going to make myself some new goals (I'm way ahead of the New Year's resolution deal :) ) and make some changes in my life; things I feel need perfecting. Some of those goals included making scripture study more personal to my life, writing down two things I was grateful for each day (I misplaced my book though), writing in my journal once a week (still working on that one), and writing down memories of Dad before they begin to fade so my children will know their grandfather, and others. Oh and updating my blog once a month. Sometimes I forget I have these things such as journals and blogs that I need to use more to my benefit. So far I'm up to getting about half of the things done but some need a little more time to get into the perfecting mode.

Each year, for the past four years or so, I have attended The Forgotten Carols. I am in love with the production and it is one of the highlights of my Christmas holiday, alongside my Christmas break from school. :) The first two years, I went with Mom and Dad, and actually met Michael McLean and his wife in the east side of Vegas the year I came home from myin a McDonald's in gas station. Funny, I know. Last year I took Tawny as a Christmas present and she loved it and this year I took Meghan for her birthday present. She told me it was the best birthday present she had gotten this year. Kudos to me. I think I've decided that each year for Christmas I want to continue to go to this and eventually get the DVD, because obviously it will stop being produced and watch it each year with my future family (cross your fingers for that one). It's always a great way to start off the Christmas holiday season!

In Memory of my Father

I haven't written on my blog nor in my journal since May 19 and considering so much has happened within the last six months, I think it's high time I caught up. I have truly come to realize that the mistakes of others can really have an impact on your life and it truly has mine. The dishonesty and addictions and lying of those that you care most about changes your outlook on life and how much you wish they would change their lives to more righteous living to spare them the pain and especially those on the outside. I have been dealing with these things in my life from others for the past six months. I never knew it was possible to feel so much pain within just a few months. Although the choices of these people has caused me pain, it has not caused me as much pain as the passing of my father. My dad passed away on Oct. 29, 2009 of respiratory failure, diverticulosis, and peritonitis, all of the abdominal area in at DRMC in the ICU. I never knew it was possible to feel such physical and emotional and mental pain all at once. I've had so many emotions flooding through me the past 10 days that I wouldn't know where to begin explaining about it. I feel that if I knew why he had to be taken from us then I would be able to move on so much more easily. Though I know within my heart that our family is an eternal family and that I will see him again, my testimony has been shaken. Thoughts of doubt and what could be more important than his family and why, why why have flooded my mind. I am grateful to have had him in my life and to know him and know that we can be an eternal family. But looking ahead, life seems so long and hard. Always in my mind I had the picture of dancing with him at my wedding, him being apart of the blessing my future children, and a long happy life. It has been quoted many a time from 1 Corinthians 13 where the Lord will never give us more than he can bear. But after these past six months, I wonder how strong He really thinks I am. I have never really seen myself as a very strong person, and if this is a preface of things to come, I'm not sure if I can handle it. But now, more than ever, my family has truly become the most important thing in my life and I want to be with them forever. I just hope and pray I have enough faith and strong enough foundation to make it through this life.

"An Early Goodbye"

There is nothing and no one to blame

And there's no use in thinking what might have been

I would have kept you through life's short span

But God had a different plan

So I'll pray for the day when the sorrow will cease

Pray for the day when I'll know perfect peace

I'll find the courage to make it somehow

But I'm feeling so lonely now

So I'll cry a little bit and I'll try a little bit

And I'll trust in God above to make some sense of it

And my eye will be single to one bright star

To live my life worthy, to be where you are.

But today it's not easy. Today I may cry

So if you see a tear in my eye

It's the pain of an early goodbye

-Janice Kapp Perry-

The Gospel of Jesus Christ

I've always been grateful for my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the blessing I've had of being raised by parents who were sealed in the temple and taught me right from wrong in all kinds of situations. I served a mission in Virginia three years ago and was forced to come home early due to illness. I learned a lot about patience and how the Atonement works for those that are hurting due to physical ailments and not spiritual ailments. I gained a testimony of the Atonement in that respect, but yet I don't think I've ever really gained a true testimony of the Atonement in the aspect of repentance. But due to recent events in my life, I have truly come to know that no matter what we do or who we hurt, we are loved by a loving Heavenly Father. He truly knows each of us and all the pain that we go through; whether it be brought upon us by the choices of others or by the small or large infractions we make day by day. I believe one of Heavenly Father's missions in my life is to teach me patience. Each time I'm faced with a new trial in my life, it always has something to do with patience. I seriously do not know how much more patience I can learn!! But I do know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and by submitting myself to his will that I can and will become all that I am meant to be. Each day I must learn that I must make my will aligned with His so that I can become what I am meant to be. This has been and will continue to be one of the most difficult things for me to learn because I'm a leader and continually want to do things my way. But, I know that if I continue to trust in my Heavenly Father and confide in Him my greatest desires and fears, that if I keep my covenants and am obedient to His commandments, I will gain the greatest gift of all. I pray I may keep this perspective always.