Let the Madness Begin!

Can my life become any more busy? Yes it can, I've decided. I have less than a month until I start grad school! Woot woot! Yes, you heard correctly. I am starting grad school, a MA in Mental Health Counseling, in the middle of January at the University of Phoenix. Along with attending one night a week for four hours, I will continue to teach full time plus some, (I say that because I average 50+ hours a week) tutoring struggling students part time at a learning center in Riverton, and all the wonderful grading I have to do. I am actually quite excited to begin school again. I've always loved going to school, but hated the massive amounts of work, but by the time I turn 29, I will have my Masters! How many people can say that? On the downside though, let's just say not much time to be social or date. Oh well. :) I am on the downclimb of the school year which means TESTING! I have to prep the kids for numerous standardized tests, so now my stress level will reach an all time high. I'm waiting for things to just get back to normal, but what exactly is normal?

I recently moved back to Orem and currently share an apartment with two fun-loving girls. It is a much better living situation than my last residence and now I actually enjoy coming home; whereas, before, I would dread going to a place I didn't really consider home. As for the social life, I think everyone and their dog is trying to set me up. Not too stoked on the idea because I don't particularly enjoy socializing with people I don't know very well. I tend to be on the shy side at first. But here's the best part: they're trying to set me up with balding, nerdy, younger guys. Heaven help me. I just smile and say, I'll think about it" and then never mention it again.

One of my good friends Chelci and her friend Nykell came up about a week and a half ago and we all went to PF Changs and to temple square in SLC to see the lights. Here are some pictures from our little escapades.

Chelci, Nykell, and me in front of
tree at JSM building.

Yup, I took this picture. :)

At the top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building

Nykell and I waiting for Clint
and Chelci to meet us.

Candid shot in front of the tree at the JSM building

As the Year Comes to a Close....

It's hard for me to believe that once again another year has flown by. The last six to seven months have been some of the most difficult of my life. My life has changed dramatically as most of you know but yet it still seems to keep going when sometimes all I want is for the world to stop for just a moment. I express gratitude to all those who have supported me and my family and have spent countless hours praying for the welfare of our family. I feel as though I have become a completely different person because of the trials I have endured this past year. My priorities have shifted and have taken on a whole new level. My mom gave each of us kids plus Lori (Jeremy's girlfriend) a Thankful Book so to speak on Thanksgiving. I have misplaced it, somewhere in my room, but in each of our books, she wrote why she was grateful for us. I decided that I was going to make myself some new goals (I'm way ahead of the New Year's resolution deal :) ) and make some changes in my life; things I feel need perfecting. Some of those goals included making scripture study more personal to my life, writing down two things I was grateful for each day (I misplaced my book though), writing in my journal once a week (still working on that one), and writing down memories of Dad before they begin to fade so my children will know their grandfather, and others. Oh and updating my blog once a month. Sometimes I forget I have these things such as journals and blogs that I need to use more to my benefit. So far I'm up to getting about half of the things done but some need a little more time to get into the perfecting mode.

Each year, for the past four years or so, I have attended The Forgotten Carols. I am in love with the production and it is one of the highlights of my Christmas holiday, alongside my Christmas break from school. :) The first two years, I went with Mom and Dad, and actually met Michael McLean and his wife in the east side of Vegas the year I came home from myin a McDonald's in gas station. Funny, I know. Last year I took Tawny as a Christmas present and she loved it and this year I took Meghan for her birthday present. She told me it was the best birthday present she had gotten this year. Kudos to me. I think I've decided that each year for Christmas I want to continue to go to this and eventually get the DVD, because obviously it will stop being produced and watch it each year with my future family (cross your fingers for that one). It's always a great way to start off the Christmas holiday season!

In Memory of my Father

I haven't written on my blog nor in my journal since May 19 and considering so much has happened within the last six months, I think it's high time I caught up. I have truly come to realize that the mistakes of others can really have an impact on your life and it truly has mine. The dishonesty and addictions and lying of those that you care most about changes your outlook on life and how much you wish they would change their lives to more righteous living to spare them the pain and especially those on the outside. I have been dealing with these things in my life from others for the past six months. I never knew it was possible to feel so much pain within just a few months. Although the choices of these people has caused me pain, it has not caused me as much pain as the passing of my father. My dad passed away on Oct. 29, 2009 of respiratory failure, diverticulosis, and peritonitis, all of the abdominal area in at DRMC in the ICU. I never knew it was possible to feel such physical and emotional and mental pain all at once. I've had so many emotions flooding through me the past 10 days that I wouldn't know where to begin explaining about it. I feel that if I knew why he had to be taken from us then I would be able to move on so much more easily. Though I know within my heart that our family is an eternal family and that I will see him again, my testimony has been shaken. Thoughts of doubt and what could be more important than his family and why, why why have flooded my mind. I am grateful to have had him in my life and to know him and know that we can be an eternal family. But looking ahead, life seems so long and hard. Always in my mind I had the picture of dancing with him at my wedding, him being apart of the blessing my future children, and a long happy life. It has been quoted many a time from 1 Corinthians 13 where the Lord will never give us more than he can bear. But after these past six months, I wonder how strong He really thinks I am. I have never really seen myself as a very strong person, and if this is a preface of things to come, I'm not sure if I can handle it. But now, more than ever, my family has truly become the most important thing in my life and I want to be with them forever. I just hope and pray I have enough faith and strong enough foundation to make it through this life.

"An Early Goodbye"

There is nothing and no one to blame

And there's no use in thinking what might have been

I would have kept you through life's short span

But God had a different plan

So I'll pray for the day when the sorrow will cease

Pray for the day when I'll know perfect peace

I'll find the courage to make it somehow

But I'm feeling so lonely now

So I'll cry a little bit and I'll try a little bit

And I'll trust in God above to make some sense of it

And my eye will be single to one bright star

To live my life worthy, to be where you are.

But today it's not easy. Today I may cry

So if you see a tear in my eye

It's the pain of an early goodbye

-Janice Kapp Perry-

The Gospel of Jesus Christ

I've always been grateful for my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the blessing I've had of being raised by parents who were sealed in the temple and taught me right from wrong in all kinds of situations. I served a mission in Virginia three years ago and was forced to come home early due to illness. I learned a lot about patience and how the Atonement works for those that are hurting due to physical ailments and not spiritual ailments. I gained a testimony of the Atonement in that respect, but yet I don't think I've ever really gained a true testimony of the Atonement in the aspect of repentance. But due to recent events in my life, I have truly come to know that no matter what we do or who we hurt, we are loved by a loving Heavenly Father. He truly knows each of us and all the pain that we go through; whether it be brought upon us by the choices of others or by the small or large infractions we make day by day. I believe one of Heavenly Father's missions in my life is to teach me patience. Each time I'm faced with a new trial in my life, it always has something to do with patience. I seriously do not know how much more patience I can learn!! But I do know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and by submitting myself to his will that I can and will become all that I am meant to be. Each day I must learn that I must make my will aligned with His so that I can become what I am meant to be. This has been and will continue to be one of the most difficult things for me to learn because I'm a leader and continually want to do things my way. But, I know that if I continue to trust in my Heavenly Father and confide in Him my greatest desires and fears, that if I keep my covenants and am obedient to His commandments, I will gain the greatest gift of all. I pray I may keep this perspective always. 

Princess Party

For our Relief Society birthday party, our enrichment committee decided we would have a princess party where we would focus on the idea that we are princesses of our Heavenly Father. We all dressed up in our beautiful evening wear and had desert crepes. The girls did a skit about how our Father sent us down to earth to turn us from frogs into princesses of noble birth. One of the girls, as part of the skit, sang "Daughter of a King" accapella and it was beautiful. I had a lot of fun dressing up and making myself look pretty. I haven't worn a prom type dress for years and actually had to borrow one because I figured I wouldn't be wearing one ever again or have any reason to wear one. I hope the next beautiful dress I get to wear is all white where I get walk to the temple with my prince!

"We were born into this world as princesses and in the proccess of growing up, we turned into frogs. The goal of life is not to be a better frog in a bigger pond, but to regain your true identity as a princess of a noble birth, a child of God."

The Joys of Bonfires

Tuesday night I went to a bonfire to celebrate the official beginning of spring break; yet, I'm not on spring break. Go figure. We went a little crazy with the camera but it was all in fun. We all met in one of the downstairs apartments and left around 8:30. We were supposed to meet at 8:00, but you know MST (Mormon Standard Time) :) We drove up the Provo Canyon and went to Vienna Park. Poor Sydney had to drive the big, huge truck and didn't have lights on the inside so she couldn't figure out how fast she was going unless we shined our cell phone lights on the speedometer! Once we got up there, we realized we were the bright ones of the group and had no flashlights and had to walk up to where we were. There was still snow on the ground and it was freezing! Okay, so like around 42 but we were averaging 65 in the valley. We, well the boys, started the fire, boyscout way, and we all huddled around trying to get warm. We had all the necessities for a bonfire: marshmallows, graham crackers, Hershey's chocolate, and starbursts. Yes you read right. Roasted starbursts are so good! I love it and I introduced it to quite a few people.

There were so many people that showed up. It was insane and it was a huge fire and began to burn my legs under my jeans. I hate that. A few of us had made foil dinners and so we cooked those on the coals. It took three tries to get mine cooked because I had hamburger meat in it and it took forever. Third times the charm! Overall, it was a fun night. I came home smelling like smoke and fire, but hey, isn't that what bonfires are all about?

Gotta Love the Roommates

So, I have some of the most fun roommates. It's taken us awhile to get to know each other and become friends because our personalities are very different, but it's been so worth it in the process. Last week, Heather decided that she wanted to go hot tubbing but neglected to
tell me it was with a bunch of guys. I had just gotten out of the shower and was just like, "What the heck? Sure, I'll go." Needless to say, I had no make-up, my hair was still wet, so I just threw it in a bunish type thing on the top of my head. Right, I looked so good as you can tell in my pic. Well, we went down and our hot tub has been having issues lately with being warm and it was seriously colder than bath water. I just stayed wrapped in my towel stuck my feet in. After about 20 minutes, I gave in and went back up and studied for my Praxis.





Apparently, the rest of them stayed up til 3 in the morning and watched a movie; well, kinda. They fell asleep because it was some kind of dumb boy movie that they didn't like.

We also love to take crazy pics. Heather and Dani are famous for their crazy faces. The two of them barged into my room when I was in my gigantic sweatshirt and pajama pants and started taking pictures. Also once again with no make-up on again. (Really, I do get ready in the morning :)) Anyway, so here are some fun, crazy pictures of us on here. Hope you enjoy them and I love my roommates!!!

A New Love

As you read the title, don't get all excited; I'm not in love or getting married. Why on earth would I do that?! LOL. (one of these days) Anyway, I don't think anyone really knows this about me, but one of my new favorites loves is scenery. I honestly hate hiking and climbing rocks and whatnot to see different types of scenery, but I love to take pictures of it. Every time I change the background on my computer, I always look for beautiful scenic pictures of the ocean, sunsets, and even baby animals. So on my way home from Park City today, while driving I might add, I kinda just took my camera and took pics out my passenger side window. Don't worry I didn't look while I took it. It was kinda just trial and error. Some turned out okay; overall, they were bad. But I've also just added a picture that I just think is really pretty on here for all the share and drool over! :)

It's Been a While

So it's been quite a while since I have been decided there's been anything worthwhile to blog. About a month actually. My friend Tawny brought it to my attention today that it was time to blog something new; so I decided I'll just make this a random one. All last week during school we had spirit week. The kids dressed up as super heros one day and one and my crazy students wore a super hero contest of one of the ninja turtles. When he walked into class with his turtle shell and eye band, I just about busted a gut. (Posted is a pic). He ended up taking the shell off because it was too hot! He reminds me so much of my little brother, Ryan, when he was that age. Small, braces, short, full of life, and funny. He can always make me laugh and when I try and get mad at him for talking too much, sometimes I can't stay serious. That class is total fun. On Friday, we had an assembly where all of the classes, 7th, 8th, 9th, and teachers competed against each other. We had a pie eating contest, over-under basketball, dress-up relay, and a water balloon toss. I did the water balloon toss and got about 3/4 of the way across the gym before I threw it too low. My bad. But, of course, the teachers won. It was great fun against the kids and fun for them to see me in a different light instead as my authoritative teacher.

Best Friends 4-Ever

I've been introduced to digital scrapbooking by my dear friend Tawny. I'm not exactly that creative so I downloaded this little program and now, voila! I'm a master scrapbooker. This is just one of the designs I created. Whenever I'm with Tawny Diet Coke is involved. I have become addicted to it and the last thing I need is diet stuff. But oh well, I love it. If you'd like to download SmileBox you can click on the link or just google. It's free to download with way cute pages and lots more!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Girlz Nite Out

SATURDAY night, my roommates Heather and Dani, and Heather's sister, Brittney, and I decided to have a girls night out. We went to Comedy Sportz in Provo where it is complete improv. Kind of like the TV show "Whose Line." Completely clean humor with some Mormon jokes thrown in there. Gotta love it! We had tons of fun and laughed hard. I totally needed that. During one portion of the show, the actors did a game called Town Meeting where they go and sit in the audience. Heather, out loud, said "There's room on my lap." Quite seductively, I might add. lol. So he sat right in the middle of her and Dani as a Viking woman. It was great fun. Afterward we went to Spoon Me, a new ice cream chain here in Utah. I think it's been around about two years or so. But it's great, yummy ice cream and very non-fattening!! I got that Acai berry ice, a fruit from Brazil and was way good. One of these days I'm going to get one of thier shirts that says, Shut up and Spoon Me !! I can't wait to get it; it makes me happy just thinking about it. One reason I love going to Spoon Me is because I can chew on their spoons. They're biodegradeable. Too bad I'm not a tree hugger!

25 Random Things About Me

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I am the only girl of 4. I have three brothers I love dearly with two happily married parents. They are my whole world. My mom cried when I was born because she had her little girl; my dad said I was a bald as a billard ball, although I had a full head of hair.

2. I teach two of the most hated subjects: Language Arts and History to middle schoolers. I love my job; although it can be very stressful and time consuming. I was told by my institute teacher I was guaranteed a ticket to the celestial kingdom for teaching middle school.

3. I have trust issues. I have been hurt a lot in my life by girls and guys both; as a result, I have very few close friends that I trust.

4. I also have communication problems. I don't like to talk about my problems and bottle them up inside until I burst...usually let out by crying. I don't like to burden people with my issues...at least that's how I see it.

5. This is my second time serving in the RS presidency in the past two years with the exact same calling: 1st counselor. Apparently I didn't get it right the first time???

6. I have a confession: my greatest desire is to be a wife and a mother. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and want to be the mom that greets her children every day they come home from school. I refer to my students as my "kids" because motherhood seems quite non-existent at this point in my life.

7. I have married off every single one of my roommates except one...15 to be exact.

8. I am attempting to pass my History Content Praxis for teaching for the fifth time in March. I was a history major and there are things on that test I've never even heard of. I hate that test with every fiber of my being.

9. I wrecked my brand new car 5 minutes after I got it.

10. I served a mission in the Virginia Richmond Mission. Two months later I was sent home due to illness. I was unable to return. It was the hardest trial I had ever experienced at that time, but I knew I was to be out there for a reason. I became very close with my Heavenly Father and used the Atonement in a way I never knew existed. I would never want to experience it again, but I am grateful for the experience.


11. The longest relationship I've ever had was 2 1/2 months...I've never said I love you.

12. My all time favorite person is leaving me to serve the Lord in Brazil April 1. I have no idea what I am going to do without her. She's the only who texts me on a consistent basis!! I love her dearly and will miss her terribly.
.
13. I hate being alone. I hate being alone with my thoughts. Kind of scary sometimes.

14. If I could travel anywhere in the world, it would be Italy. I desperately want to visit all the history in that country: the Sistine Chapel, the Vatican, Sicily, etc

15. I have been getting allergy shots every month for the past 2 1/2 years. I am allergic to things I've never heard of. Now, I can hold a puppy without sneezing my head off.

16. I got my tonsils out in April and lost 13 pounds in a week. It was a horrible two weeks; I have only gained 15 pounds since my sophomore year in high school.

17. I love the piano. I love playing contemporary music and accompanying people when they sing. My greatest accomplishment was memorizing Clair de Lune and performing it my junior year of college.

18. I can be quite OCD. I hate a dirty kitchen and clean it quite often. My closet is organized by color and in my classroom, I can't stand having my desks crooked.

19. I love my mom dearly. She is my best friend and the one person I tell everything to. She is the greatest example of perseverance and faith that I know. I would not be the person I am today without her. She loves me for who I am despite all my flaws and imperfections.

20. I am a very stubborn person. When someone tells me I can't do something, I will do everything I can to prove them wrong. I always like to be right and will argue something to the bitter end even when I know I'm wrong.

21. I live in Orem right now and commute to West Jordan for my job. It is a 30-minute commute but I enjoy it (except when it snows). It wakes me up in the morning and gives me time to think. I have bought the Book of Mormon CD's and listen to them a couple times a morning on the way up. That can really change my day.

22. I owe everything to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The gospel is the greatest gift I have been blessed with. It has made me who I am and guides me in who I want to be. I know that He lives and that He loves me despite all the many mistakes I make daily.


23. Family is the most important thing to me on earth. If I could, I'd live with my family for the rest of my life. How grateful I am that I get to live with them for eternity.

24. The TV show I watch faithfully every week is Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. If I miss it, then I watch in online after school on Friday while doing grades.

25. My dream puppy is a miniature teacup Yorkie. Only about $1,000. I have a picture of one on my desktop to remind me daily of my goal.

I DECIDED to do create this blog at 5 in the morning last night when I couldn't sleep and had been tossing and turning since about 2:30. It took me forever to get a cute background, but I think I've succeeded. I'd wanted to create a blog for a while but was hesitant because I felt like I didn't have much to talk about because I'm not married and don't have any children. But why's that to stop me?? I figured since I've been really bad a journal writing that I could try and keep up on a blog. Hopefully, I'll be successful at this and if not, someone get on my tail about it!